Private Time
by PyramidCalyx
Summary: The struggle of finding time to oneself & time to enjoy each other's company. Bensidy one-shot. Rated M for sexy times. ;-)


A/N: Shout out to **SVUfanatic4** for requesting this & to **letherfly** for pressuring me to finish writing it. LOL. Comments, reviews, all welcome. Tweet therealfionaml

**Private Time**

In her slumber, Olivia found nothing but peace. The nightmares had subsided, and she was no longer on edge when it came to falling asleep. Now, she let each day's events fall from her mind as she cocooned herself in an Egyptian cotton and down-filled nest. She surprised herself by sinking into bed before midnight, and sighed deeply, knowing that her body desperately needed a long night's sleep.

There was only one thing missing. She lay on her side facing the empty space beside her, one hand resting on the vacant pillow. His absence was something that she struggled with on night's like these. Despite trying to convince herself that her heart was overreacting, she couldn't help the longing she felt to be curled up against his warm, welcoming frame. Countless nights she had scolded herself for the level of attachment that she felt for him; after all, she had spent most of her life on her own, with nobody to come home to. Why should loneliness overwhelm her now? But when she contemplated her current place in life, her heart sped up and butterflies danced when she realized that she did have somebody to come home to. She had fought an uphill battle and won; she had accepted love, and now how a home, a partner, a family.

For the first time in months she was able to be home most evenings without having to worry about frantic calls from the 16th precinct. Her brief role as commanding officer had finally come to a close when a new captain transferred to SVU. She couldn't help but feel relieved; she was honored to have stepped up when Don Cragen retired, however, being thrust into command over a short-staffed unit had caused her stress level to rise exponentially. While she transitioned smoothly into the leadership role, she still found it trying at times to suddenly be the boss and no longer be on equal-footing with the detectives in the squad.

As her schedule became easier to manage, she had hoped his would as well. There had been a glimmer of hope when Brian boldly told his superior that he would no longer work undercover. This curveball had both surprised and angered Lieutenant Tucker, who had been under the impression that Brian Cassidy was so proud to have his detective's shield back that he could be easily herded from one assignment to the next with little complaint. When Brian finally spoke up he was transferred to desk duty, which wasn't where he wanted to be, but he accepted Tucker's punishment if it meant he would be able to go home each night. And he had, briefly. All Olivia knew was IAB had something cooking, and Brian was pulling all-nighters as the investigation got hot.

Olivia sighed, rolling onto her back. She missed him. She hated feeling needy, but she couldn't help it. Brian had broken down her walls, her defenses, and had won her heart. When their relationship rebooted after a thirteen year gap, they both didn't have a plan for the future. The more time she spent with him, the deeper her feelings became until she realized that she was in love with him. They were both unsure of the other's wants until after Olivia was kidnapped. As she recuperated and dealt with the harrowing experience of being held hostage for four days, Olivia began to truly think about her life. She had survived her attack completely on her own, and rather than continue, alone, to come to terms with her experience, she had Brian. He was by her side, he was her support, he was her home.

A stray tear dripped onto the pillow. Olivia wiped her eyes, and took several deep breaths. Her mind tended to wander back to those dark days, and if not there, then to the tumultuous trial that was keenly manipulated by William Lewis until the very end. She squeezed her eyes tight and warded away the memories. She had survived; she had won. And now, she could appreciate Cragen's advice that she live her life. Through all of the stress and bumps in her relationship with Brian, she knew that he was the one she wanted to live her life with. They weren't a perfect pair, their relationship wasn't an idyllic romantic saga. No, they were headstrong, pushy, and fiercely independent. But also passionate, understanding, and tender. Both were committed to the other, and that always brought a smile to Olivia's lips.

She lay in the darkness, listening to the patter of rain against the windows. The gentle rhythm eventually lulled her to sleep. Outside her windows, the steady rain transformed into a downpour. Olivia was shaken awake by a loud clap of thunder. She rubbed her eyes and squinted at the clock; 2:12 am. Heaving a tired sigh, she flopped back against the pillow and glanced beside her; empty. Her brow furrowed, both surprised and irked that IAB was keeping Brian this late. Again.

Another thunderclap rumbled overhead, and the city's sky was alit with lightning. Olivia threw the blankets aside and dangled her legs over the edge of the bed. Her bare feet touched the cool hardwood and she pushed herself to stand, feeling the itch of thirst in her throat. As she opened the bedroom door, she was surprised to see light in the living room. She slowly padded down the hall, her eyes finding the back of Brian's head as he slouched on the couch. In the quiet of the night, she could hear his labored breathing.

"Bri?"

He jumped, and immediately sat up. His tie and dress shirt were hanging haphazardly over the back of the couch, and he was clad in a beige undershirt and work slacks. Olivia grinned knowingly as she approached the couch. He was zipping the fly of his pants when she wrapped her arms around his neck from behind.

"Did I interrupt?" she purred, gently biting his earlobe.

He grunted, and turned his head, capturing her lips. "No, it's nothing. I- it's no big deal."

Olivia chuckled. "How long have you been home?" she asked, moving to sit beside him.

"Not long, I … not long," Brian shifted uncomfortably; his cheeks were still flushed, both from his activity and embarrassment. "Did I wake you?"

"No, the storm did," Olivia leaned against him, one hand caressing the back of his neck while the other innocently sat on his upper thigh. "So, is this your, uh, usual routine?"

Brian's eyes snapped to hers; he could see the playful glint in her brown irises. He cleared his throat as she began slowly running her hand along his inner thigh.

"It's, you know … not every night or anything, I…" his voice trailed off.

He wasn't sure why being caught by his girlfriend had left him tongue-tied; they had never shied away from sexual desires, and certainly weren't prudes. After all, he was a man with needs, and would never demand sex from Olivia. Their conflicting schedules made it difficult to see each other, thus necessitating his hands-on private time.

Olivia regarded him with a smirk, inwardly laughing at his obvious discomfort having been caught with his hand in his pants. She eyed the bulge at his crotch, deciding whether or not she should torture him any longer. Her fingers continued to graze his inner thigh, slowly inching closer to his semi-erect member.

"Not every night, huh?" she grinned when he trembled slightly as her fingers danced over his crotch and up his torso. "So, how often?"

Brian sucked in his breath, his body desperately yearning for a release, now burning with desire as Olivia pressed against him. Her bare legs were curled beneath her, and he could see her hardened nipples through the thin t-shirt she wore. Her nimble fingers drew shapes across his pecs, teasing his nipples.

"Fuck, Liv," he murmured, running a hand over his face. "I don't know, I don't- we always seem to have opposite schedules, and I really need to-"

"Come?"

He groaned, gazing at her through half-closed lids. "Fuck, yes."

"Maybe I can help you with that," she whispered, licking her lips.

Brian's pupils dilated and his heart sped up as she knelt between his legs, slowly unzipping his pants. She stared up at him, biting her lower lip. He lifted off the couch as she tugged his pants and boxers down, freeing his thick cock. He groaned as she licked her lips again, her hands running up his bare legs, gently squeezing his thighs. She took ahold of his shaft, chuckling softly when he became completely erect within a few seconds of her touch. Keeping her eyes on his, she ran her tongue around the head of his cock.

"Jesus, baby," Brian moaned, one hand tangling in her dark hair.

Olivia grinned, continuing to slowly lick his head, reveling in the power trip that came with knowing he was completely at her mercy. She maintained eye contact as she enveloped his thick dick, taking him deep inside her hot mouth. Brian threw his head back, his eyes shut, unable to take the sultry intensity of her gaze. She hummed, the vibrations sending an erotic chill through his body.

"Olivia," he moaned, tugging at her shirt. "Come here."

She gave him one last deep-throat, and stood between his legs. He sat forward and pulled her sleep shorts down her legs. Olivia felt her body tingle from his touch; she straddled his hips as he pulled her t-shift off. She moaned as he took one of her breasts in his mouth, sucking her soft skin, his tongue teasing her peaked nipple. She missed him beyond words; his rough hands caressing every square inch of her body, the heat of his breath against her skin, the way their bodies perfectly connected when they made love.

"Bri … I love you so much, baby," she murmured before pulling his lips to hers. They both moaned, investigating each other's mouth. Brian positioned his long, hard cock below her pussy, seething with pleasure as she sank onto him.

He pulled her closer to his chest, running his hands from her ass to her shoulders, then cupping her face. Their lips met hungrily, their bodies melting into each other as Olivia rolled her hips over his.

"I love you, too," Brian kissed her, groaning as she rode him harder. "You're so fucking sexy."

Olivia closed her eyes, her breath coming out in short pants, her full breasts bouncing as she pounded her body against his. Brian gripped her tight, one hand on her hip the other on her shoulder. He thrust his pelvis up in rhythm with hers; his cock buried deep within her tight, wet core. She could feel him hitting her g-spot, sending shockwaves of sexual satisfaction throughout her body, leaving her breathless.

Rain pelted the windows of the apartment, and the occasional roll of thunder grumbled in the distance; the only other sounds were the couple's ragged breaths and slap of skin-on-skin. Both of them were drowning in the heat, the pleasure, the intimacy, never wanting to break the spell. Brian slipped a hand between them, finding Olivia's swollen clit.

"Come for me," he rasped.

She whimpered as he expertly worked her over. His fingers applied just the right amount of pressure to her sensitive bundle of nerves and she could already feel her muscles begin to clench his cock. Her movements became more erratic as he drove her into a frenzy; she slowed as her orgasm struck, screaming his name into the dimly lit apartment.

"Fuck me, Bri! Please, baby, fuck me!"

Brian pushed her down onto her back, his hands coming to rest on her hips. He pushed his cock back into her hot center, thrusting hard. Olivia scratched a path of red welts up his back, digging her nails into his shoulders as he plowed into her. He leaned close, finding her lips.

"Fuck, Liv …"

He could feel his dick begin to tense, and his thrusts increased in force seconds before he released inside of her. He yelled out a mixture of curses, praises, and satisfied grunts before collapsing on top of her. The racing beat of her heart matched his own, and he pressed his lips across her collarbone and up one side of her neck, nuzzling against her. She softly giggled, her fingers caressing his back, her legs still wrapped around his spent body.

"You know, I appreciate that you haven't been waking me up every night, but now I wish you had."

Brian groaned, propping himself up on one elbow to look upon the beautiful creature underneath him. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and cupped her face in one hand. She turned to kiss his palm, gazing up at him, eyes bright and full of love.

"I don't jerk off every night, Liv," he rolled his eyes as she chuckled. "I have more self-control than that."

Olivia arched a brow. "What, you don't think I take care of myself when you aren't here? All those weeks spent undercover, and now imprisoned at IA?"

He smirked, shaking his head. Olivia noticed his eyes darken, and placed her hand on his cheek to steady his gaze. She caught a glimpse of the myriad of emotions that flickered across his handsome features before he put his guard back up. He gave her a goofy grin and gently kissed her.

"Bri," she said, frowning.

He shook his head again and looked away. "I must be a shitty boyfriend for leaving you alone so much," he said, his voice hushed and laced with guilt.

"Hey," Olivia lifted his chin. "You're not a shitty boyfriend. We've just had shitty schedules, that's all."

"Yeah, but I never see you, I can't even talk to you about your day. I just …" he hung his head once more. "I don't want you to stay with me if you aren't getting what you want from our relationship. What you deserve."

Olivia's heart skipped a beat, her chest feeling crushed in an icy grip. She gently pushed Brian into a sitting position and held onto his hands.

"Brian," she began, her throat tight, eyes shining with tears. "It's not your fault. We both know how hectic the job is. I admit, I was hoping that once you weren't undercover anymore, we would have more time together. But, it is what it is."

He nodded but continued to look at the floor. Olivia knew he wasn't the best when it came to expressing his emotions, and she was caught off-guard when he rubbed his eyes, sniffling softly. Her bottom lip trembled when she suddenly realized how deeply he had taken their situation to heart.

"Bri," she breathed, touching his cheek. "Look at me."

He glanced over at her, and she held his face so he couldn't turn away. She could see the conflict, the insecurity and anxiety. For the first time she could see that he had been living with the constant worry that she felt forced to stay with him, that she would leave when the opportunity arose. He clenched his jaw, trying to gain control over his emotions, but as tears began to trail across Olivia's cheeks, he lost his battle.

"Liv, I'm so sorry," he said, his voice uneven. "I know I'm not perfect, and nobody expected us to ever be here, but I love you so much. I can't- can't imagine living without you in my life."

She let out a small sob and pulled him into her arms. His tough-guy, smart-ass attitude had crumbled and she was taken aback by his raw vulnerability. Brian Cassidy let most things roll off his shoulders; he could be flippant and arrogant, but then again, so could she. Olivia had never heard him speak with such passion, such abject resignation, as if he expected her to scoff at his outburst and bring his fears to life. She began thinking about the recent months; had she given him cause to doubt her love for him?

There had been tension between them, and she knew that she tended to be the one who started arguments; she had a knack for picking fights, regardless of how trivial the subject matter was. From the day he started at IAB, the heat was turned up on both of them. First, there had been his constant undercover work, then his investigation of her partner. The inability to discuss their cases did not aid in the smooth sailing of their relationship. And when personal situations arose, they were too busy with their jobs to take the time to sit down and talk. Her negative pregnancy test had given her a sudden reality check; a slice of life that Olivia had long put on the back-burner. The yet unasked questions still swirled constantly in her mind; did Brian want a family? Was he aware of how much she yearned for motherhood? She was just as guilty as Brian for continuing to avoid that conversation, and she wasn't exactly sure why.

"I'm not going anywhere, Bri," she told him, her voice soft but firm. "I've never loved anyone the way I love you. I can't live without you, either, baby."

She held his face in her hands, wiping a tear from his cheek with her thumb. She kissed his forehead, and then his lips. He gripped her tightly in his arms, pulling her onto his lap. Their mouths moved together, tongues intertwined as all of the love and passion crossed between their bodies, dispelling the shadows of doubt.

"I love you, Olivia," Brian murmured, kissing her temple and resting his forehead against hers. "I just don't want you to regret sticking with me-"

"Brian!" she scolded gently. "We've had a few rough patches, and we're still looking for a balance between our jobs and our private lives, but we're still here. I'm not just sticking around, Bri, I'm here because I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

He sat back, shyly raising his eyes to look at her. "You really mean that, Liv?"

She gave him a warm smile, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Yeah. I do."

Brian relaxed, giving her a small grin. "I just wanna make you happy, that's all," he said quietly, tracing her cheekbone with his thumb. "I miss you."

Olivia felt her heart swell, her eyes starting to water again. "I miss you, too, Bri. We'll figure everything out. This case can't go on forever; eventually you'll have normal hours."

Brian snorted. "I sure hope so. Or else..."

"Or else?"

He shrugged. "Maybe I'll just call it in. I've got my twenty."

Olivia frowned. "But you love being a cop. Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I know," he sighed, one hand idly drawing circles on her hip. "I guess I'd rather focus on the more important things in my life. I haven't drafted my resignation or anything. I've just been thinking."

Olivia nodded, lightly tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck. She stared into his hazel eyes, a surge of happiness coursing through her veins when she saw the devotion and love gazing back at her. She leaned toward him, capturing his lips. Brian pulled her tight against his body, his tongue swiping across her lips. She moaned into his mouth, her knees gripping his hips. He wound his fingers in her hair, kissing her with the most passion she had ever felt. He shifted on the couch and prodded her off his lap. She gave him a confused look which disappeared as soon as he stood and gathered her into his arms.

"Let's go to bed, baby," he whispered, carrying her down the hall to their bedroom.

As he lay her on the bed, Olivia happily sighed, caressing his face. Moonlight shone across the bed, the storm now retreating and leaving the city aglow with mellow lunar light. Brian kissed her lips and then her neck, moving slowly down to her breasts. She squirmed as his teeth grazed her nipple, her body now hypersensitive with arousal. He smirked up at her before trailing wet kisses all the way down to her moist lips. His hands massaged her thighs as he spread her legs wide and buried his face between them.

"Oh, god, Bri!" she cried, gripping his head, her nails scratching his scalp.

His tongue toured her wet slit, moaning as her delicious flavor infiltrated his senses. He sucked her clit into his mouth, causing her to arch her back and loudly whimper his name. Releasing one of her thighs, he pushed two fingers into her tight opening, pumping in and out as his mouth continued its assault. Her pussy started to pulsate, her muscles gripping his digits.

"Oh, fuck, baby, don't stop … Bri!" she let out a strangled scream as he brought her to ecstasy.

In one quick movement, his fingers left her body and were replaced by his cock. He pushed into her fully, pausing once he was buried to the hilt. He kissed her deeply, lowering his body over hers so that he rested on his elbows at either side of her head. She wrapped her legs around his body and ran her hands through his short hair. As he took his time thrusting gently, their lips remained passionately fused together. They made love for over an hour, every movement precise and driven by complete tenderness. As Brian felt his release approaching, he slipped a hand between their bodies, determined to make Olivia come before he did.

As they came off of their orgasmic high, the couple lay with limbs entangled, breathing heavy. Dawn crept across the skyline, bathing the skyscrapers in a happy orange glow. Olivia smiled against Brian's chest as he played with her hair. She didn't want to move from their bed, didn't want to face the day in a few short hours.

"I think there's a bug going around the precinct," she stated, breaking the heavenly silence.

"Oh yeah? You should probably take a sick day, in case you caught it."

She chuckled, grinning up at him. "Only if you stay home to take care of me."

Brian laughed, hugging her even closer to him. "Aye, Sergeant."


End file.
